I never wanted barrier Only wanted to hear the music That broke me open I never wanted barrier Just needed to feel the acoustic My way of coping I never wanted barrier Didn't expect to get caught up Let out way too much But you gave me barrier I just couldn't believe it Mixed up … Continue reading Barrier

The beating heart

Just because you can't feel the fit You're not alone, there's more to it When no one can feel what's going on Listen for you, because we get it wrong Every energy has their own place Even the sadness, hurt etched on a face If it wasn't for darkness the stars wouldn't shine You're not … Continue reading The beating heart

Pieces of me

I've been thinking about Voids & Searching, longing, meaning, and the real confusion that comes with it. It is true that some days I long for something I don't understand. It's bigger than me. It's another kind of hand, that right now makes no sense. But I'm still curious. I wonder is it fate that … Continue reading Pieces of me


He's felt overwhelmed for a while due to an intensity he's been feeling. It's been difficult to understand. He's not sure he does. Expression seems so difficult to achieve, it's up there alongside interpretation. He'll often sift through pictures of Art trying to find pieces that reflect his feelings, his heart. To see the expression … Continue reading Inexpressible


Is it your first impression or mine? Still searching for something through my time A destination unknown - to the station behind the illusion Everyday life decisions made but based on confusion Rubbed shoulders, mingled, the big and the small I've collected scars or just tokens from each of them all But I still can't … Continue reading Lacuna

The flip.

Do you ever just think to yourself what the heck am I doing with myself? For me, I seem to flip between different versions of myself.. sometimes my head seems in the game of life where I'm following all the norms and conforming to life's pressures and societies expectations & other times I just want … Continue reading The flip.

The Fourth Week

This week I finished my night shifts πŸŽ‰ I know I'll spend half of the rest of my life working them but I'm so pleased to have gotten them done. Staying up all night (Without liquid grapes) is hard πŸ˜‘ even for the experienced midwives. Next week I return to day shifts for my final … Continue reading The Fourth Week


I didn't like this week as much as last week. The difference I think may be down to a lack of self control. My feelings owned me this week, which meant my behaviour was affected by my decision making based on πŸ’© feelings. I really could have done with backing off with the pressure too … Continue reading ssergorP

She Sleeps

Will I always see the worst Scared to trust & afraid to burst Glum and blue at the thought of you Not needing me like I need true Will I ever stop the fight Control the hurt that steals the light Can I heal from this point on Did you sing our final song Will … Continue reading She Sleeps

Racing Red

The week began with a colour change to my hair. The dark wasn't sitting, I'm way to pale. I felt I looked older too (literally clinging) so I've now joined Jessica Rabbit, Ariel, Merida and Vivienne Ward in the Racing Red Zone. Recently ageing has become a 'thing' for me. I seem to have more … Continue reading Racing Red

Sunday blog

The week started out positive. Mondays blue sky motivation kicking in, had me planning for a spot of exercise in the evening πŸƒβ€β™€οΈΒ (this may not have happened, don’t judge One of the besties brightened my day booking us in for a Spa day the following week (insert 'yes' scene from when Sally met Harry here). … Continue reading Sunday blog


"All you have to do is love him" My mind replays him telling me. The pain hits, the tears fall. I imagine them in bed together in the room they rented. The pain hits, the tears fall. I can't accept it. I feel like I need space. We should be apart. I think of not … Continue reading Indecision

Your call

I wish that I could answer your call That you'd be there when I'm at your door So we could have those gentle conversations About all of my current hesitations That I could just sit by you We could even have a drink or two And I could get to know all of your ways … Continue reading Your call